Bigfoot's Bride - Candace Ayers

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I don’t know what I really expected out of life but it certainly wasn’t sitting here writing a review for what I strongly believe is a Kim Kardashian x Bigfoot romance novel. 


Kiki Karaprtyan, socialite and media star, is on the run. Well, to be more precise she’s in witness protection. After testifying against a drug lord, her life is in danger and she has had to leave her glamourous life behind and hop from one crappy motel to the other to stay safe. After one of the drug lords “associates” is spotted near her current hidey hole, she gets moved, and automatically enrolled into a Mates for Monsters programme. 


Gruffydd is a sweetheart sasquatch. All he wants is someone to love and share his life with, and due to the outnumbering of squatch men to women (20-1) they need to reach out to other species to find romance. The Mates for Monsters programme is perfect for this. Willing human women come and spend some time with the lonely sasquatches, and hopefully romance will blossom between the two species.  


After a disastrous first time meet, Kiki makes the first move to get to know her hairy suitor, learns about sasquatch anatomy a bit more than she would have initially liked (dear reader, it glows) and after a hoe down, and a hootenanny, falls in love with Gruffydd and decides to stay, even though she has the opportunity to go back to her old star-studded life. 


For a book featuring a massive hairy beast with a magical glowstick member, the spice was a complete let down. It’s actually quite boring. Kiki and Gruffydd of course do the horizontal tango but it could have been so much better. It was human sex in a monster romance book, and that is almost unforgivable. I will mourn the missed opportunities and grieve in my own way. 


The book, however, does what it says it will do. Gives us a short sweet romance book about a socialite and a sasquatch. Candace Ayers has written a whole bunch of monster romance books with the aim to give readers a dose of monster lust they can devour in their lunch break and yeah, it does that. I finished reading this in about 45 minutes, give or take, and while I can’t say I loved it, it was a fun little read. 


Would I bother with Bigfoot’s Bride? Personally, no. As a monster cock connoisseur if there’s spice it needs to feel inhuman to some degree and this was just a big guy who’s a tad hirsute. Not a primal beast laying claim to his tiny wife. There was no character development, not much humour (unless burning pancakes is suddenly hilarious) and since when are sasquatch Welsh?  It was just a bit messy and the author just sort of embraced that rather than try to make sense of anything she was putting down on paper. I will say, I have read previous works by Ayers and they were a lot more enjoyable so maybe this one just hit the wrong note with me. However if you want a monster romance you can read in under an hour, then try it. You might enjoy it more than I did.





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