Tusk Love - Thea Guanzon

 

 

I’m no adventurer so thankfully I didn’t need to travel to Chastity’s Nook to grab a copy of “Tusk Love”. I was kindly sent one to review. It’s a little bit daunting to review a book that has been described by a reliable source as “it's the most beautiful love story you've ever heard in your entire life, basically,” but I'll give it my best shot. 

First impressions were incredibly shallow. Yes, I judged a book by its cover, so shoot me, but this one needs to be looked at. From the rich artwork on the front to the adorable doodles by none other than the book's biggest fan on the inside of the jacket, it’s just so joyful. This is definitely one that I would recommend getting a physical copy of.

The author obviously knows her table top roleplaying games. From page one we’re in the story, not just looking in, but fully immersed in this fantasy world. Guinevere, our heroine, is set upon by bandits, burns most of them to smithereens, and then is helped by the rather handsome half-orc Oskar. An adventure begins, Oskar promises to help Guinevere reach the city of Nicodranas since her guards have all been killed and she would otherwise be alone. As they head towards their destination, friendship and love flourish between the two, and Guinevere has a decision to make about her future, one that could break away from everything she was meant to be. 

It’s difficult not to love the two main characters. While Guinevere comes across initially as snobbish, spoiled and utterly useless, you learn that she has been forced to behave like she does her whole life, to appeal to “those above her station”. Oskar, as is typical for orcs (and half orcs I would assume) is brusque, grumpy and standoffish. As their journey proceeds, they both change for the better, Guinevere learns to make peace with who she really is, and Oskar softens, lets others in and lets himself be happy for once. It’s truly a story of embracing yourself and others as they are, not forcing expectations. And spice. Lots of spice. 

It’s no surprise that Oskar and Guinevere fall for each other, but when they do it's so damn adorable. I loved the scene when Guinevere is praising her horse “Vindicator” for being brave and giving him lots of pets. Oskar has a bit of a sulk, he was brave, so why wasn’t he getting his hair stroked too. It’s not a major plot point, it’s not even really that important and is forgotten soon after, but I know I’ll think of that moment whenever I see this book on my shelf. It’s little pieces like this that make this book really worth the read. 

When you get lines like “Guinevere saw stars. She truly did. They streaked across her vision and fell into the flames that sang inside her. She gave herself over to the oldest song in the universe” you really need to just stop and take a minute. While the spice is spicy, don’t get me wrong, the emotion tangled up within it will make you breathless. It’s rare to find a book where emotional intimacy gets as much attention as the physical side. Not a complaint, I do love page long descriptions of orc wang, but that little bit of feeling turns a fun fumble in the woods into something much much deeper and so much sexier. 

There’s so much to love with this book, from the characters they meet along the Amber Road, to the lush descriptions of each place they visit. While the book is set in the Critical Role universe, you don’t need to know a single thing about their campaigns or lore, you can just treat it like any other monster romance novel and I was really happy about that but there’s plenty for any fan to enjoy too. 

If I had one complaint it would be that the plot was fairly predictable, but I didn’t mind. The journey, the adventure was so much more than just its purpose. I could spend hours just reading about the little towns, the weird and wonderful people they met along the way and even just the banter between Guinevere and Oskar. In the end, they got where they needed to be and that was just fine by me. 

I would wholeheartedly bother with “Tusk Love” and not just because I love me some grumpy orcs. It’s immersive, hilarious, passionate and consuming. Now, can I get some more stories about Clan Bonecrusher? Please, pretty please.